Friday, January 26, 2007

kindness doesn't beget positive attention

Trust me on this one, showing concern in Singapore is nothing but a pure waste of effort, time and energy. The receiver is nothing but a leech feeding on your efforts and none the giver. I have been reassured that care and concern are futile actions made by us to induce long or mid-term change in character. you can only capture their attention for 3 minutes, 5 minutes max. Over this past week have i been experiencing such bullshit.

Monday, helped some guy pick up his wallet which had fallen on the ground, guess what he said

"Um,ok." and he proceeded to run off without fulfilling my expectations of him saying, thanks.

I felt like um,ok-ing his ass with my cleaver.

well, this time the receiver did nothing negative, but it was more like fate toying with me. While going back home on wednesday night, i went to the MRT station to see a busker, i gave him $1 and afterwards, several coins rolled off my wallet. Nice one.

On overall, i don't think anyone has ever seen this happen, here's a scenario, imagine someone who doesn't know he certain topic over some module you're doing, he/she approaches you for help, you gladly oblige and spend time to assist that person, sacrificing your own learning opportunity then the person thanks you for your help in the short run. HE/SHE IS NEVER GOING TO REFER TO THIS INCIDENT AGAIN,NOT IN ANY WAY HE/SHE WOULD.

i feel like i'm being treated like mere dog droppings, people only recognise your efforts longer if your help is monetary aid or something tangible, they're not going to say, "hey, you've helped me score well for this test, hey, thanks!" no, they'll most likely think this way, "it's all me, me and me alone, my effort is king,you're SUPPOSED to help me because I'M YOUR FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY", well screw that. that's how materialistic people are once i think back to my school days through out. i shan't mention names, cos it's just too childish to put the blame on them, its up to them whether they read this post or not to self-reflect. either that, or i don't know what i did wrong, but i'm pretty sure i fucked no one on any deal.

Furthermore, the moment you start doing something wrong, they fuck you in the ass for it, no shit. i do it too. say in cases of projects, everybody is doing this without first thinking of whatever system is going through or whatever consequences there may be at hand, they just shoot their traps off. talk about motivation.

there's this particular person though, i want to give credit mention, who does all the above. i hope you reach the top and fall downwards. cos i always feel that way, feeling good after doing something nice and reaching to the bottom with his/her reactions to my actions.

it just doesn't pay to be kind la, neither shall care and concern reciprocate itself to you. unless i move to a place with no discrimination, no qualms and stress, then shall i find myself taking back my words.
why am i saying all this, people wouldn't give a shit about my opinions anyway, i might as well be a ghost, immaterial and nothing more than a perceptional spawn.

so people, remember we are all selfish beings, we pick up friendships because we want to take advantages over each other, only thing being, some do it more often than the other without realization

-SIGNING OFF
DLC:P

Sunday, January 21, 2007

the school is the ass and we are the bowls.

ultimately, the school serves as a facility or institute of education but it also keeps your brain busy and blood boiling. it is the second best enforcer of stress (first being work).

well, my POM project has just been submitted on friday, thank the lords half of it is done and i have to say, well done my group mates! now, let's scratch our heads and think how the heck are we to present (say for the slides part) our proposal without looking like clowns or last-minute understudies during a skit.

well, marketing fundamentals has been sailing quite smoothly, we just need diagrams, double structures for our content and we're set for an A, or else we'll all be in deep shit. I only scored a C+ for the mid-sem test, how pathetic is that!

anyway, this is how i did, i can safely say it's about the same as the first semester's test scores. -.-

Business Statistics: A
Marketing Fundamentals: C+
Business Accounting 2: B+ ( i just need 1 more mark for an A, but noooo..its not theory, geez)
Principles of Management: A
Microeconomics: B

well, i just want a GPA above 3.5 this time so i can at least hope for an SMU entrance test. foog!

my CDS group mates aren't helping me to attain that. Let's just say that i picked the wrong part to do (cos it takes a whole lot of time) and my assistant keeps doing my parts, which i have to claim credit for to pass. yaaa-hoo. He also just gave me a spin-around to manage by editing his summary draft, trust me, its bad and he's older than me. i want to die.

-SIGNING OFF
DLC:P

Friday, January 19, 2007

i am the sun, says a test.

wow, i think the weather-god or whomever (pardon my lack of knowledge) saw my blog post/ heard my endless lamenting on the weather. the sun is back up to shine and will one day bake us all crispy brown.

i'm currently typing this blogpost with half my sanity, attention span and strength, i did gym and much project-related work and i feel like a tired work horse who just can't fall asleep.

anyway, even though my blog isn't popular as much as how it is NEVER read rather, i will still continue to write for my biggest fan, me. the show must go on!

so anyway, it never occured to me that my body can actually take so much strain and stress with so little sleep. i feel sorry for my brain, it's not getting enough rest and yet it's doing so much thinking. already in my project groups its very important to submit ideas, but with little sleep, it almost seemed impossible. then, without me realizing, i gave lots of ideas, i don't know how, maybe its because i didn't want to let my group mates down, especially kai xuan, cos she works REALLY hard. or maybe i don't want to taint my own grades, could be a good mix of both, but ultimately, it still boils down to my personality, i don't give up easily.

but this persistence will kill me one day, i don't know how, but it may. or maybe some brain disease derived from this constant lack of sleep. or maybe, heart disease.

oh well, back to the light of matters.

i was watching The Arena on Channel 5 for 2 consecutive weeks, oh my lordy lord lord, RI lost to Loyang Sec, it was so damn amusing to see them lost. here are the reasons i gathered;
i.) boy 1 was some monotonous toad, boy 2 was alright la, boy 3 was some fat snob trying to speak like some duke from old england.
ii.) during the last round, RI failed to identify Loyang's cause, which was damn funny cos the fat toad was insisting that they are reflecting the wrong image.
iii.) they got intimidated by the butch from loyang sec.

lol. and MGS beat St. Nicholas Girls, of which the former took a thorough bashing. 3 words, out of point.

ah well, i'm off to complete thy project of harm. todaloo?

-SIGNING OFF
DLC:P

Monday, January 15, 2007

in (light) the dark of torrential rain and the gloom

oh, so we thought that the torrential rain was over, hogwash! it caused ANOTHER flood, in fact, a few more floods, not here, but in the region. but its damn frustrating la, the days are always downers, the only thing positive note i can find through this rain is the temperature and how it allows long naps. sleeping through has never been so...comforting.

the rain has obviously gotten many of us sick as well, in the turn of events, i am well once again and i seek to keep myself healthy till the end of the year AND i don't use dettol, i heard that over-usage can cause conformity, the viruses start attacking if you withdraw the usage. wow, it's kinda like a drug.

ok, i shall wrap it up here, cos i was supposed to do my Statistics and Marketing Fundamentals tutorials at 10pm, it is now 12 am and still their both not done. fuck this: creating financial statements out of practically nothing. making sense from nothing is really either:
virtually impossible or just plain difficult. i plan to sleep at 3.3o tonight.

quote of the day: how cold IS cold?

-SIGNING OFF
DLC:P

Friday, January 05, 2007

the new year's gift(s)

i was right when i said the flu bug is so fucking back to haunt us ! the coughing and sneezing i've been hearing from the people around me and of course, my incessant coughing on wednesday night was enough to prove the...umm..widespread epidemic.

before you know it, a couple of centuries later, BAM! the common cold and the humble coughing becomes something that will literally implode your very lungs.

well, at least i'm at the pink of health(or rather, was in the pink of health,it's like an exclusive club), haven't gotten sick in 10 months ++! a new record! comparatively speaking, the school we call secondary is much dirtier than what you can expect in poly. take that, you uniform wearing pipsqueaks.

good news is, i found my tiny bob, it was still lying, untouched on the computer's desk. what honest teachers we have in siglap eh? i wanted to relive once more, the hunger pangs that we had by just being in school for 3 hours like we did in sec 4. the food, nasi ayam, bagedel to name some, to die for la. buy until the aunties gave us discounts, so shiok. like they say, don't starve a student.

-SIGNING OFF
DLC:P

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

videos



2006?

Happy new year?
happy 2007.

my resolution is to be more....proactive.

-SIGNING OFF
DLC:P