kindness doesn't beget positive attention

Trust me on this one, showing concern in Singapore is nothing but a pure waste of effort, time and energy. The receiver is nothing but a leech feeding on your efforts and none the giver. I have been reassured that care and concern are futile actions made by us to induce long or mid-term change in character. you can only capture their attention for 3 minutes, 5 minutes max. Over this past week have i been experiencing such bullshit.

Monday, helped some guy pick up his wallet which had fallen on the ground, guess what he said

"Um,ok." and he proceeded to run off without fulfilling my expectations of him saying, thanks.

I felt like um,ok-ing his ass with my cleaver.

well, this time the receiver did nothing negative, but it was more like fate toying with me. While going back home on wednesday night, i went to the MRT station to see a busker, i gave him $1 and afterwards, several coins rolled off my wallet. Nice one.

On overall, i don't think anyone has ever seen this happen, here's a scenario, imagine someone who doesn't know he certain topic over some module you're doing, he/she approaches you for help, you gladly oblige and spend time to assist that person, sacrificing your own learning opportunity then the person thanks you for your help in the short run. HE/SHE IS NEVER GOING TO REFER TO THIS INCIDENT AGAIN,NOT IN ANY WAY HE/SHE WOULD.

i feel like i'm being treated like mere dog droppings, people only recognise your efforts longer if your help is monetary aid or something tangible, they're not going to say, "hey, you've helped me score well for this test, hey, thanks!" no, they'll most likely think this way, "it's all me, me and me alone, my effort is king,you're SUPPOSED to help me because I'M YOUR FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY", well screw that. that's how materialistic people are once i think back to my school days through out. i shan't mention names, cos it's just too childish to put the blame on them, its up to them whether they read this post or not to self-reflect. either that, or i don't know what i did wrong, but i'm pretty sure i fucked no one on any deal.

Furthermore, the moment you start doing something wrong, they fuck you in the ass for it, no shit. i do it too. say in cases of projects, everybody is doing this without first thinking of whatever system is going through or whatever consequences there may be at hand, they just shoot their traps off. talk about motivation.

there's this particular person though, i want to give credit mention, who does all the above. i hope you reach the top and fall downwards. cos i always feel that way, feeling good after doing something nice and reaching to the bottom with his/her reactions to my actions.

it just doesn't pay to be kind la, neither shall care and concern reciprocate itself to you. unless i move to a place with no discrimination, no qualms and stress, then shall i find myself taking back my words.
why am i saying all this, people wouldn't give a shit about my opinions anyway, i might as well be a ghost, immaterial and nothing more than a perceptional spawn.

so people, remember we are all selfish beings, we pick up friendships because we want to take advantages over each other, only thing being, some do it more often than the other without realization

-SIGNING OFF
DLC:P